Bruce's 1st year

I have to say this has been the most emotional year of my life. And I'm not saying that it was dramatic. Just that every emotion I've had this year has felt like it was magnified by 10000000. Partly b/c the hormones and sleep deprivation and just getting married and having a kid make you feel that way.

As 2008 comes to an end and my kiddo turns into a toddler, I just start thinking about all the stuff that's gone on for the year. All the new endeavors we've taken on, the growth my husband and I have experienced as a couple and my own personal growth just as a person. I think I've matured a lot, of course. But I've also forced myself to regress and realize that just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm old.

And by this I mean I can still be responsible and love my son (duh) and make rules and enforce them and discipline and raise a child and not have to wear mom pants (real, not figurative).

I think the biggest discovery this year is seeing how vast love is. Because the way you love your relatives or your significant other is not the same way you love your child. To me, Bruce is a part of me. He is half me, half Karl. He is both of us and none of us at the same time. He's my flesh and blood. And the simplest way I can explain this love that in just one year has grown so much is that it makes my heart beat so fast and feel so much at the same time that I think it'll explode.

Bruce makes me feel happy and giddy and frustrated and sleepless all at the same time. My heart almost aches when I think of how much I love him. I look at pictures of him once he's asleep only to moan when he's up at 5 AM. But smile once again when he gives me one of his deliciously slobbery open-mouthed kisses.

He is the single-most amazing little guy me and my heart have ever met.