So today I was on this website: stuffwhitepeoplelike.com and I was having a grand 'ole time. And I laughed so hard at the post on camping. Sooooo much. I thought it was hilarious. And as I sat there doubled over in laughter, for a moment I felt like I could hear my mom laughing. And I realized I laugh just like her.
I understand why for a long time I thought 'I know exactly how my sister and my dad laugh, but I can't even bring my mom's laughter to mind'. Bizarre, but tonight I got it. It's because my laughter is hers. We laugh almost exactly (if not identically) the same.
And it hit me: I am my mom. I mean, not like that, but in ways I don't have ANY control over. None and that's scary and comforting at the same time.
Again, not meant to be a meaningful post, just rambling.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Ay, ay, ay
I don't even know what the heck to write about! I have so much to put out there and my mind is so disorganized I really can't put many coherent thoughts together. Ok... I guess first things first. Everyone and their moms know, but because I hadn't announced it here: I'm 3 months pregnant with my second bebe. You know, we're super happy, couldn't be better, so excited, yadda, yadda, yadda... WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING???? I know what I was thinking: "Oh, its so fun with Bruce. I think we could expand and we can handle it. And everyone I know is pregnant now, so we can ll be pregnant together!!!" Like, I know this is what I was thinking, because at some point some variation of that went through my mind, but I mean, REALLY?? Well, its not like its going away!
Don't get me wrong, I am very happy and the thought of meeting a new little person and getting to cuddle and nurse again is so very heart-warming. But the thought of exhaustion and realizing that my first-born is was a tornado in his past life somehow puts a tiring spin on it (no pun intended). Whatever. Michelle Duggar and her vast and entirely too spacious, cavernous vajayjay have done it 17 times... or 18? I lost track (so has she).
Anyway, the point is people have 2 kids all the time and survive. Heck! I have friends with 3 kids!! And they're still alive. Notice I said alive, nothing about their mental sanity. But hey, sanity is overrated IMHO.
And that's that.
Then what...? Oh yeah, I have all these ideas for short stories that I've been meaning to write. No, I don't plan on becoming Ms. Meyer and writing Twilight Fan Fiction. Really, no.
Mostly its stuff based on reality, like things that have happened or could have happened. I mean, it seems like almost everyone is making a buck off spilling the guts to the world, why can't I? There's interesting stuff in my life, I mean, interesting enough. No, I haven't travelled to Africa to find a long lost journalist (White Mary). Nor am I here to save myself from myself (Rant)... Ok, so it's not SUPER exciting to be me, but I can make up stuff! And I can write it. So there.
I guess this is all I can piece together tonight. Honestly, I can't remember half of the bajillion things I've been meaning to write about. But eventually I will. And I hope and pray to God that I will be disciplined enough to haul my ass here to write about them.
Later, Gator!
Edit: Just so you have an idea of how long I've been meaning to write, you will notice the date on the post is from June 22, 2009. Its October 29, 2009. Yep.
Don't get me wrong, I am very happy and the thought of meeting a new little person and getting to cuddle and nurse again is so very heart-warming. But the thought of exhaustion and realizing that my first-born is was a tornado in his past life somehow puts a tiring spin on it (no pun intended). Whatever. Michelle Duggar and her vast and entirely too spacious, cavernous vajayjay have done it 17 times... or 18? I lost track (so has she).
Anyway, the point is people have 2 kids all the time and survive. Heck! I have friends with 3 kids!! And they're still alive. Notice I said alive, nothing about their mental sanity. But hey, sanity is overrated IMHO.
And that's that.
Then what...? Oh yeah, I have all these ideas for short stories that I've been meaning to write. No, I don't plan on becoming Ms. Meyer and writing Twilight Fan Fiction. Really, no.
Mostly its stuff based on reality, like things that have happened or could have happened. I mean, it seems like almost everyone is making a buck off spilling the guts to the world, why can't I? There's interesting stuff in my life, I mean, interesting enough. No, I haven't travelled to Africa to find a long lost journalist (White Mary). Nor am I here to save myself from myself (Rant)... Ok, so it's not SUPER exciting to be me, but I can make up stuff! And I can write it. So there.
I guess this is all I can piece together tonight. Honestly, I can't remember half of the bajillion things I've been meaning to write about. But eventually I will. And I hope and pray to God that I will be disciplined enough to haul my ass here to write about them.
Later, Gator!
Edit: Just so you have an idea of how long I've been meaning to write, you will notice the date on the post is from June 22, 2009. Its October 29, 2009. Yep.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
New life, new friends
I am reaaally happy because I've made some real FRIENDS. Like, not college buddies or smoking partners. Real, real friends and I'm so happy about it.
It took me almost two years, but its enriched my life so much and I can only hope I've done the same for them.
These women give me something worth leaving the house, they make beer playdates a lot of fun, talking about butt worms halfway pleasant, listening to farting noises hilarious, asking about cold remedies interesting... and most of all they just make life sweeter.
You know who you are, ladies. Yes, you too.
I love you all dearly and thank you for making me actually look forward to weekdays.
It took me almost two years, but its enriched my life so much and I can only hope I've done the same for them.
These women give me something worth leaving the house, they make beer playdates a lot of fun, talking about butt worms halfway pleasant, listening to farting noises hilarious, asking about cold remedies interesting... and most of all they just make life sweeter.
You know who you are, ladies. Yes, you too.
I love you all dearly and thank you for making me actually look forward to weekdays.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Plan all you want...
I met my now husband at 19 and we knew we'd get married after I finished college. Once I did that, the wedding was set to take place and while I was raising eyebrows for getting married so young, I was ok with it. Then a few months before the wedding, I found out I was pregnant. We've been married for almost a year and a half, I'm 24 now (my husband is 7 yrs. older) and my baby just turned 1. He is the absolute best kiddo on the planet. Of course there are times I wonder what we'd be doing or where we'd be had we not gotten pregnant, but I had been baby crazy for a while. So, it was a very pleasant surprise! Like I read somewhere: We'll be young empty-nesters. My (unsolicited) advice is to give yourself 'couples' time if you can (and want to). Because it takes a long time to get it back, and even then I don't think its the same. Having a child makes your relationship with your partner different. In my case its better, but not the same as before.
And how I miss staying out and sleeping in!
And how I miss staying out and sleeping in!
Cupcakes and slides
So on Friday Bruce turned 1. And it was fuuuuun. We went to the park and he got to roam freely like never before. He got down and REAL dirty. I'm still trying to get his fingernails clean. He had dirt in his ears and hair. It was so cool.
He really loved it!
The whole week leading up to his birthday all I could think if was: "Last year at this time I was going to the hospital" or "I blacking out because of the contractions" or better yet "By now I had nursed him for the first time".
This day, I wanted to make extra special for him. So in the morning I went to his room and sang Happy Birthday to him, and we cuddled for a little bit. And while we did that, I just really thought a lot about my new life with Bruce and how happy I feel. And how happy it makes me to see him happy and thriving. And even though some more sleep would be nice, I wouldn't change my life for anything in the world.
He really loved it!
The whole week leading up to his birthday all I could think if was: "Last year at this time I was going to the hospital" or "I blacking out because of the contractions" or better yet "By now I had nursed him for the first time".
This day, I wanted to make extra special for him. So in the morning I went to his room and sang Happy Birthday to him, and we cuddled for a little bit. And while we did that, I just really thought a lot about my new life with Bruce and how happy I feel. And how happy it makes me to see him happy and thriving. And even though some more sleep would be nice, I wouldn't change my life for anything in the world.
Bruce's 1st year
I have to say this has been the most emotional year of my life. And I'm not saying that it was dramatic. Just that every emotion I've had this year has felt like it was magnified by 10000000. Partly b/c the hormones and sleep deprivation and just getting married and having a kid make you feel that way.
As 2008 comes to an end and my kiddo turns into a toddler, I just start thinking about all the stuff that's gone on for the year. All the new endeavors we've taken on, the growth my husband and I have experienced as a couple and my own personal growth just as a person. I think I've matured a lot, of course. But I've also forced myself to regress and realize that just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm old.
And by this I mean I can still be responsible and love my son (duh) and make rules and enforce them and discipline and raise a child and not have to wear mom pants (real, not figurative).
I think the biggest discovery this year is seeing how vast love is. Because the way you love your relatives or your significant other is not the same way you love your child. To me, Bruce is a part of me. He is half me, half Karl. He is both of us and none of us at the same time. He's my flesh and blood. And the simplest way I can explain this love that in just one year has grown so much is that it makes my heart beat so fast and feel so much at the same time that I think it'll explode.
Bruce makes me feel happy and giddy and frustrated and sleepless all at the same time. My heart almost aches when I think of how much I love him. I look at pictures of him once he's asleep only to moan when he's up at 5 AM. But smile once again when he gives me one of his deliciously slobbery open-mouthed kisses.
He is the single-most amazing little guy me and my heart have ever met.
As 2008 comes to an end and my kiddo turns into a toddler, I just start thinking about all the stuff that's gone on for the year. All the new endeavors we've taken on, the growth my husband and I have experienced as a couple and my own personal growth just as a person. I think I've matured a lot, of course. But I've also forced myself to regress and realize that just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I'm old.
And by this I mean I can still be responsible and love my son (duh) and make rules and enforce them and discipline and raise a child and not have to wear mom pants (real, not figurative).
I think the biggest discovery this year is seeing how vast love is. Because the way you love your relatives or your significant other is not the same way you love your child. To me, Bruce is a part of me. He is half me, half Karl. He is both of us and none of us at the same time. He's my flesh and blood. And the simplest way I can explain this love that in just one year has grown so much is that it makes my heart beat so fast and feel so much at the same time that I think it'll explode.
Bruce makes me feel happy and giddy and frustrated and sleepless all at the same time. My heart almost aches when I think of how much I love him. I look at pictures of him once he's asleep only to moan when he's up at 5 AM. But smile once again when he gives me one of his deliciously slobbery open-mouthed kisses.
He is the single-most amazing little guy me and my heart have ever met.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
It snowed last night!
We woke up this morning to the beautiful sight of snow. In Texas. Of course it wasn't feet and feet of snow. More like half an inch. But its still snow! And that made me happy because I'd finally get to break out that awesome coat I bought at Nautica last year on sale ($70! That's a steal! I wonder why? Oh, right. No one buys coats in TEXAS).
So I wore my coat for a few hours, but now its 3:30 and its not winter coat weather anymore. Its more like wear a nice jacket weather. Of course, now I'm just looking for reasons to leave the house and wear my nice new winter stuff. I never get to wear it! I'm just gonna have to convince my husband that we have to someplace cold so Bruce can see the snow (read: so I can break out my winter wardrobe).
So I wore my coat for a few hours, but now its 3:30 and its not winter coat weather anymore. Its more like wear a nice jacket weather. Of course, now I'm just looking for reasons to leave the house and wear my nice new winter stuff. I never get to wear it! I'm just gonna have to convince my husband that we have to someplace cold so Bruce can see the snow (read: so I can break out my winter wardrobe).
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